I am stuck in the Media Center. Well, not specifically, just in the school. Ugh. Lameness. It seems like time is just going so slowly just to taunt me. Way to fail. Really.

I really just want to go home and sleep or someting, today was a long ass Monday and nothing interesting happened at all. Just the same old blahhness as usual. Well, I almost beat Tabor in chess but not really because I'm unskilled and lame like that. I'm gonna get on aim tonight and try to make him play internet chess with me haha. Who knows. He might actually play. I wouldn't count on it. =]

so, has anyone else noticed the abnormal number of couples at TECHS? Last year, it was really this...idk how to put it. It's like everyone's been hit with a fucking love arrow. It's really odd.

oh and I've just discovered those things on xanga called 'footprints'. Can anyone say creepy as hell? I sure can, and I just did to Will haha. I'm so hilarious.

peace, ashley

How the fuck can you tell me that it's okay you're not here because there's other people who love me? Other people that would be here for me? Because, of course, I have back ups. I ask several people to spend the night just in case you can't come. Especially when I have the worst week in years and you know this and some how I'm suppose to know you won't be able to make it. Figures.

You cannot make time for your best friend, but you can make time for Mrs. Francis or Catie. Which, appearently, are more important than some stupid teenage problems. Whatever.

Megan says to me today, "Ashley! Everyone loves you. You have so many friends." And she is right. I do. But they're these things called 'casual friends.' I don't tell them my problems, they don't tell me theirs. A lot of them I bet don't really give a real shit about me, to put it crudely, and that in itself kinda hurts because, its so dumb to say that I care. Like if one day I saw Keith L crying I would start too. If Will C was then I'd try to make him happy because it would be sad if he was sad. And if Jon was I'd be unbelievably worried because I care. And that in itself sucks.

&&I know I have those people who will always be there for me an dfor that I'm so grateful. But they're doig somehting else, while you should be here. It's a fucking requirement. Because that's not best friends.

'Best friends' is 1:30 am when you get a call saying your one of your best friends, Niki, wouldn't come out of her closet because her dad stopped by, and your other bestie, Brittany, come and pick you and Claire up to go to Niki's house because you're all best friends. &&Best friends are there to make sure you never feel alone.

Well, thats what we always used to say. But times change. And I guess the definition has changed. A lot.

peace, ashley

is in everyone over 18 in the United States. I was worried, very anxious of today, because for some strange reason I care about my nation. I want it to be better, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to make it turn out my way. Thus is why I am not going to school today, Janissa and I are doing this little thing called Canvasing, making sure everyone gets out to vote. I've done the Obama calling, I've spread the word, I've made mult-media propaganda [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PAE36CwPY3A Check it out yo, no matter how dumb it may seem, it's my way of helping =]. I have done everything seeming fit, and instead of feeling nervous today, I feel excited. Sure I'm still a little scared of what will happen, but only a small part of me. I guess you can say I have some faith left in humanity.

More later, =]

peace, ashley